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考研英语短文写作1998年作文试题和范文 |
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OKhere.net 你来我网-考研社区 作者： 2003-8-19 9:47:00 双博士丛书 | |
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Writing (15 points)Directions:
A. Study the following cartoon carefully and write an essay in no less than 150words.
B. Your essay must be written clearly on ANSWER SHEETⅡ.
C. Your essay should meet the requirements below:
1. Write out the messages conveyed by the cartoon.
2. Give your comments.
【范文一】得分14分
This cartoon shows a chicken holding a notice which reads,“My Promises: Number 1. I promise all the eggs I lay will be round without edges and corners; Number 2. I promise that the eggs I lay will have husk, egg white and yolk.”The triumphant look on the chicken's face gives us a feeling that her solemn promise is reliable and will certainly be fulfilled. But when we give it a second thought, we will sense how ironical her words are, because all the promises are her duties as a chicken.
This cartoon may make us laugh, but it mirrors one of the problems in our lives.After China started to practice a market-oriented economy, customers are regarded as“Gods”. They no longer have to stand the humiliations they used to sufferwhen supplies were running short and they were constrained by bureaucratic rules. But there has been a trend of making“promises”in various fields of the society. These promises look reassuring on the first sight but ridiculous when people come to think it twice. Producers and shopping centers promise that their product will be of good quality; and they will provide excellent service, which, actually, are only part of their due share of duties towards consumers.
Promises are only made when you offer to do something beyond what you are expected to do. After so many years of supply shortage and absence of good services, it is comforting to hear promises of commitments. But promising to do what is part of your duty is misleading, even deceptive to customers. The message the cartoon aims to convey is to keep us on the awareness that such promises are only vain display of the insincerity and lack of confidence in the person making these promises.
(297 words)
【范文点评】
文章内容完全切题，包括了漫画中的信息，条理清楚，从对漫画的描述，写到漫画所反映的社会问题，最后一段是作者对这一现象的思考，符合题目的要求。文章条理性强，论述有说服力，分析深刻。句子结构和用词几乎没有错误，而且文章长度满足字数要求。
文章下列句式值得借鉴：
·This cartoon...mirrors one of the problems in our lives.
·there has been a trend of making“promises”...
·which...are only part of their due share of duties towards consumers
·The message the cartoon aims to convey is...
【范文二】得分11分
We can see from the cartoon that a hen is holding up a board on which she writes,“I promise my eggs are all round, and that they will have all the parts of anegg.”It is funny that a hen should make such promises because a hen is supposed to lay eggs that are round and with all the necessary parts. This cartoon make people laugh but actually such thing also happen in our society.
Recently, everywhere we look, we find people making promises. It has become a fashion for all businesses to make promises in terms of their products and services. On one hand, people are indeed enjoying goods of better quality and better services. But on the other hand, we cannot help thinking that what they promise isreally something they should fulfil as their duties, but not an extra favor. What's more, some businesses can't even keep up with what they promise to do.
I think it makes no sense just to follow the fashion and still provide inadequate services. After all, it is what you can really offer to the consumers that matters, not how good your promises are.
(195 words)
【范文点评】
文章内容切题，包括了漫画中的全部信息。并且分析清楚，说理明确。文字连贯，句式也有一定的变化，句子和结构没有重大的错误。但是应该注意第三人称单数的使用，另外用词方面稍嫌不足，显出词汇量有一定欠缺。
【范文三】得分8分
The cartoon has a hen looking proudly up the sky, holding a piece of paper. On the paper are her promises that she will lay eggs that are round, and that her eggs will not lack any part.
This cartoon must be seen in another sense, not by itself. With the market economy introduced to China, every part of the business services is making promises to people insgroupsto attract new customers. But most of the promises they make are only what they should do. Not that it's not part of their duty. This give people the wrong feeling that they are taking troubles to do these things. You can't blame people for complaining“what promises”!
To my point of view, it is a good thing to make promise. It help our economy to increase. And as time pass we get better goods and services. But. we should do our own job well and try to contribute to the economy, even not make promises.(165 words)
【范文点评】
内容基本切题，也能包括漫画中的信息。但是句子结构和用词有诸多错误。比如，Not thatit's not part of their duty.不能作为一个完整的句子出现，而应该改成It's not that it's not part of their duty.此外第三人称单数用法需注意：This give people the
wrong feeling that中的give应该后面加s变成gives，因为主语this是单数。类似错误还有It help our economy...应该是It helps our economy...此外标点运用不当。But后面应用逗号，而不是句号。最后一句是病句，应该改成even without making promises.此外文章的举例不是很合适，不够有说服力。文章长度符合字数要求。
【范文四】得分5分
There is a cartoon drawing a hen says her eggs are sure to have skin and the inside parts. From the cartoon we can think someone do the same thing today in our society. It is reflection that one must do own thing well, not promise. There isa saying“action speak loud than words.”If you make promises and you don't keep it, you will not be trusted. But if you make promise something that is your job, this make people laugh at you. I think that people should stop making such promises and do their work well, not like the hen who make promises are meaningless and empty. In conclusion, all the society must do away with such promise as hen completely insgroupsthe economy get better.
(130 words)
【范文点评】
文章基本切题，能表达出漫画的大致意思，但是句子的结构和拼写、用词方面有很多的错误。比如句子中缺乏关系代词，把两个句子生硬地拼凑在一起，第三人称单数的问题等等。此外文章的思路比较混乱，也没有举什么说明问题的例子印证自己的观点。长度也不符合要求。
【范文五】得分2分
This hen say her eggs will be round and will not lack any. This cartoon tell us a lot of thin. It is normal for hens to lay such egg. But what is the purpose tomake promise? To my view someone do the same in society. They make promise, when they should do. In fact, they don't fulfilled their responsities.
In a word, we must deal with such problems and not promise. Because it is no usepromise. If we don't do work well.(85 words)
【范文点评】
基本是按照漫画写作的，但是思路混乱，只有个别的句子能够理解。此外字数远远达不到要求。
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